If Only Things Were Different
by lasha
Summary: Four Slytherin friends leave Hogwarts, with their own dreams, ambitions and secrets. When things start to happen, however, each is alone. And when fate pulls them back together, it's different. Severus and his cousin are cold. Lucius is cruel, and the


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Disclaimer: - Neither of us poor, pathetic, insomniac authors own Harry Potter. HAPPY?!? But we do own ourselves so NAAAAAAH!

The Slytherin seniors looked around their common room for the very last time, they laughed and joked, never doubting for an instance that they would keep in touch with every single Slytherin they had ever met. Three of this number were having a last minute conversation about plans for their never-ending holiday. Or, that was how it seemed then.

"'Lex, Severus, you _have to write to me_!" Stressed one red-blond haired girl, to her two friends, who just happened to be cousins.

'Lex laughed breezily, "Of course we will! Just _don't_ send us _anything_ in French!" Severus smirked, "And remember to send us separate letters. We don't live together." Asha scowled, "No shit!" Severus laughed slightly and turned to watch some idiot let off a few firecrackers in the common room.

Crying, hugs, kisses, promises, photos, laughter, shrieking, singing. They all built the scene in the Great Hall. Totting around shoving her camera at people, Asha pulled her best friend 'Lex into a hug for the click of a photo hurriedly.

"Mr Snape, don't think you're getting out of photos!" She told the tall dark haired boy and she scurried over, running into him and clinging for a photo. Looking up she grinned.

"Take care of yourself."

Severus Snape didn't say much in reply, but he was going to add something when she fluttered away to farewell someone else. Didn't matter because at that moment the golden haired boy Lucius Malfoy had sauntered over.

"This is getting ridiculous Snape, lets go to the carriages."

"I know," Severus agreed putting his cloak on and following Lucius out, waving to his cousin on his way out.

Lex had just finished hugging someone when Asha caught up and linked arms with her. 

"Off we go, mature witches. Wider world watch out here we come!"

"I hope it's ready for us!" 'Lex exclaimed, pointing her wand up into the air, "Because ready or not, here we come!"

Days later a request had come to the small London townhouse ordering Ashleigh St Cyr to return to France, for reasons of personal safety.

Things seemed to be getting very tight in England. With her 18th birthday just around the corner the young woman had thrown together her pitiful collection of possessions and returned to L'orient without informing anyone.

The French were never in the direct line of fire, they were very much involved but the terror was never as close. But the talk in France wasn't ever hushed, everyone gossiped freely. Ashleigh's sister Sabriella learnt that Severus Snape was a prominent Death Eater these days and had re-told it to her family, with her natural over-exaggeration. They had all agreed that Ashleigh and Severus must have been planning to get married, and he'd sacrifice her to the dark lord.

When she had gotten home she was forbidden from contacting anyone in England , and shoved in the direction of Mark Saparito.

Meanwhile, 'Lex was getting edgy. She hadn't heard from Severus since the last day, and he'd promised to owl her every night. It wasn't just that he hadn't written , it was that he'd disappeared of the face of the earth, along with a few others. 'Lex was beginning to understand why the remaining Snapes had mutually decided to live in the one spot. Things were getting tight. Disappearances, and lots of them. And strange rumours of black clad people claiming to follow a great lord. England was not the place to be right now. Never the less, there was 'Lex, sitting at a bar near the Snape Manor, talking to a young man. He was quite handsome, very articulate, and very interesting. And he seemed rather taken to 'Lex.

'Lex laughed at one of his jokes, "What is your name?" She asked politely, "I don't believe you told me?"

"Ah yes," He said smoothly, "Khristopher. And yours?"

'Lex smiled, "Alexandra. 'Lex."

Kristopher returned her smile with his own dazzling one, "That' beautiful."

By the end of the night, 'Lex had discovered that Kristopher was three years older than her, went to a school in America, and was now looking for a job. And she had his mobile number.

As the atmosphere around England became more and more tense, 'Lex started seeing Kristopher more and more often. It was almost like he had no concern what so ever about the whispers of a 'dark lord', which were becoming much more than rumours. Kristopher was 'Lex's escape.

Months passed, and 'Lex was torn between three fighting emotions. The gnawing feeling she had in her stomach about her cousin's absence, the definite lack of letters from Asha, and her growing affection for Kristopher.

And then came the Winder Solstice. The real beginning. The real end. 'Lex hadn't been out with Kristopher that week, and was missing him sourly. And without his carefree distractions, 'Lex had noticed things were getting worse. And that night, just before midnight, a hush fell over certain families in England. The Snapes were one such family. They stopped in mid conversation, and listened. Then…

It happened in an instant. The giant, oak, front doors blew inwards, ripping off their hinges and slamming into the back of the marble hallway. Within seconds the dark clad people were in the living room, 'Lex heard the swish and whoosh of a dozen wands, and found herself flying, end over end, backwards, backwards, backwards. She came to rest on the far side of the cavernous living room, slammed against a wall. A shadow fell over her.

"I'll finish this last one off." Said a voice coldly, a voice which 'Lex recognised, "I must have missed slightly." He bent down and drew his wand again, then said in a hurried whisper, "I'm going to pretend to kill you. Get away from here. Change your name." With that, the figure drew a knife across 'Lex's wrist and allowed the blood to fall into a small jar. Then he tapped 'Lex lightly with his wand, and she felt herself going to sleep. But she had to ask…

"Why, Sevvy?"

"Ashleigh!."

Asha was dragged from her light sleep by her partner's cranky yelling. She did the usual morning thing, and tried to reach out across the bed for him, but like every morning he wasn't there. After a few minutes she realised that Mark had been calling.

"Une momente!" She mumbled falling out of bed to look in the mirror.

Her piercing blue eyes stared back at her with hatred, but they knew just as well as she, she'd always end up with Mark.

"Freakin' early mornings, freakin cranky French man,…"

"Ashleigh I'll kill zis bird!"

Blearily she appeared in the kitchen doorway. "Pourquoi?"

Then she saw her Owl, Corazon, hopping and fluttering, knocking over dishes, and most obviously Mark's breakfast. It fluttered in a craze away from Mark's rolled up news paper. Corazon dropped the letter to Asha and turned to openly attack Mark.

"Fuzcking bird!"

Asha retreated to the sun room to open her letter.

'Lex was dead.. Severus had killed her..

"Its not true… it can't be true.., no.." She whispered beneath frenzied sobs.

Years passed, and things got worse. Asha read the paper, she knew what was happening in England. It was almost unbearable to hear of such monstrosities being done. Murder, cold blooded murder. The paper presented a list of murdered people once a week. This week, there were thirty-two. Last week there were thirty. Voldemort, was the name of the Dark Lord overruling the Death Eaters. Death Eaters. Asha hated even the name. Severus was a Death Eater. And he had killed 'Lex.

These days Asha's thoughts were not in the least pleasant ones. She thought about Severus a lot, with bitterness. Asha began talking in her sleep, mumbling his name, and sometimes waking up screaming it out. Mark wasn't too pleased.

Tension grew between Asha and Mark, until one day, the band snapped.

Asha had been talking in her sleep the night before, and at the table Mark confronted her. "I want this to _stop_." He said pointedly, "I'm not an idiot, Ashleigh, I know you're seeing someone else."

Asha was at a loss for words. But only momentarily. She had put up with Mark's bad temper, his outbursts…and now he was accusing her of cheating? "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM, MARK? SOME DIRTY SLUT? Well, I have news for you. _Severus_ is the name you say I call out? _He killed 'Lex_, Mark! He was her cousin! BUT IF YOU PAID ANY ATTENTION TO ME, YOU'D REMEMBER THAT A FEW YEARS AGO I GOT A LETTER EXPLAINING THAT!" Asha ripped her wand out of her clothes and pointed it towards their room. In an instant, her fully packed suitcase came hurtling towards her. Asha grabbed it, and was gone. Mark stood there in the empty hall, with no woman, and no second chance.

Out of that place Ashleigh stopped shaking. She'd finally gone, but as quick to go, she'd have to go back. No anything but that. She disapparated

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An ocean, pale blue light, no air just water. Struggling bursting, powering away.. surfacing.

Asha surfaced from sparkling blue water to a wondrous place, she'd apparated herself into a memory?... But it was real, this was the place. She brought herself to their spring. She floated in her elaborate expensive sapphire blue robes, looking around incredulously. Then she remembered. 

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Sitting under that waterfall flirting with Lucius Malfoy stupidly, as he watched Alexandra and she watched Severus. Severus pulling 'Lex off the bottom. 'You can't sleep underwater, sorry.' 'Lex ignoring him. Diving off those rocks, revelling in the warm water..

But Alexandra was dead now, and Severus.. she did not know. Why did he have to kill her.. Why did someone she wanted so badly have to become the person she despised the most. She sunk in the water despairingly, and pulled herself up again. All the jewels had come away from her auburn hair, material gifts bestowed upon her by Mark.

But then she knew what Lucius Malfoy was doing these days. Alive with a Wife and Son. Narcissa Malfoy, they'd met on unfortunate circumstances at a funeral service Ashleigh had been attending in England. However she couldn't shake their school day memories. That boy had been absolutely besotted with Alex.

Asha sunk again, auburn hair trailing behind her like a pool of blood.

Jessica K. Wilkes sat in a tiny bar, a cloak wrapped tightly around her under-fed form. She was waiting for news. News of _anything_. Preferably, news of Voldemort, but that was harder than expected to come by. No one seemed to be too keen to talk about the subject, just in case a Death Eater was listening, and the wrong thing was said…

These days, getting news was like a full time job for which you neither got paid, nor got any general enjoyment out of it. What Jessica would really love to hear about was a certain two people, of whom neither hide nor hair, had been seen since Voldemort took over. One who had saved her life by killing her, the other who had just…gone. Trapped in her thoughts of her friends, Jessica didn't see the weary traveller stagger into the bar.

But she heard his announcement.

God, did she hear it.

"The Dark Lord has fallen!" He exclaimed, "He has met his downfall! The Dark Mark has disappeared from our skies! Death Eaters are fleeing! We are safe!" Jessica ripped off her cloak, her black eyes and dark plait shown. Pulling a parchment and quill from her robes, she composed a letter she'd been dying to write, but forbidden to. She needed to tell Asha she could live again.

Asha was camped by the side of the spring, planning to stay one night, then hitch hike…somewhere. An owl fluttered down from the darkness, and with a soft hoot dropped a letter right into her lap. Asha winced, guessing that it was from her disapproving parents, telling her to get her ass back to France. She was wrong.

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Asha.

I just got the news about two minutes ago. Voldemort has fallen. Something to do with James and Lily Potter's little boy. No one sure of the details, but people are celebrating all over. Do you know what this means?

I am allowed to live again.

It's a far too complicated to explain now. Come to that village about three miles from Snape Manor. The tiny, derelict pub. You know the place.

'Lex.

Asha must have read the letter around 50 times before she did anything, soaking wet, and dishevelled. When she had decided to do something _he_ apparated , running a hand through his hair tiredly.

Asha glanced fearfully at him. But he just waved it off. "I assumed 'Lex had sent you a letter." He said sharply. He sounded so different. "And since I obviously haven't killed my cousin, how about we go visit her, now that she's allowed her own name back." And they dissapparated.

Before her vision had even cleared, Asha found herself wrapped in a bear hug from a shorter girl. 'Lex. Asha hugged back, unable to speak, save for the words, "Oh my god!" When 'Lex had detached herself from Asha she turned to Severus.

"Long time, no?" She asked.

"Very." He replied in the same curt tone.

Asha blinked, looking between them, expecting 'Lex to dive on top of him and mess up his hair like she used to, or for Severus to grab 'Lex, hug her, than throw her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. But it seemed that was it. Asha sighed. She couldn't pretend that the past few years hadn't changed her. Asha knew that her temper had reached heights before only dreamed of. She had proven that back in France with Mark.

Mark, ugh, she'd have to sort that out. Looking at 'Snape' she didn't know why she had bothered holding anything for him. She had been told once her Aura was a Chameleon, it changed to the people she was with. Her attitude was very much the same. She glared at Severus icily for a moment then looked to 'Lex, who shrugged.

"So," 'Lex said, "what are we going to do now?"

Asha grinned. "Celebra-"

"Lie low." Severus interrupted, "Because there are still a few on Voldemort's side who haven't been caught. 'Lex isn't supposed to be alive, and I'm not exactly popular with that crowd." Asha blinked again.

"Well, where to then?" 'Lex asked, slightly irritably.

Asha smiled a little. "I think we know a place."

Back at the springs, there was a little surprise there to greet them. Quite an unwelcome surprise.

'Lex stopped dead. "L…Lucius!"

Lucius spun around very quickly, and came face to face with another unpopular Death Eater, a woman who was supposed to be _dead_ and another woman who had vanished without a trace for quite some time.

"_You,"_ Lucius spat waving a finger at 'lex. "You're dead, or so I was told." He continued, looking pointedly at Severus. Completely unaffected by Lucius, Severus blinked as Asha demanded- "Why are you here?!"

"One might ask the three of you the same question." He hissed softly.

"Well I asked first, so there." Asha said, becoming vexed fast. She's been accused of cheating, been swimming, met up with a dead person, met up with a person she wished would die and now this prat.

'Lex sighed and dragged a hand through her un-brushed hair. "Calm down, Asha." She mumbled, "He's probably here to save his own ass, right?"

Narrowing his eyes on the trio Lucius lingered closer to 'Lex. "I don't have to state my business here." Shoving her roughly with his cane.

Asha crossed her arms angrily. She'd rather be doing Mark's laundry or spending his money than be here with Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape.

"Then neither do we." 'Lex sniffed. Apparently, Severus wasn't going to talk to Lucius, and was merely standing almost protectively next to his cousin.

There was silence for a little while, in which time Asha had wandered over to Lucius. "So you made an unholy mess of that. I've heard tell you have a Son nowdays. Don't want to Abandon Narcissa with him? Oh, I'm sorry, you already have. So Lord Voldemort's promises fell through? Its about Chance, you picked that side, and co-incidentally you picked a loser."

"Don't talk about what you don't know, ignorant French filles. You didn't even stick around to stand by your side so you wouldn't know."

"Oh but I do.. I know about muggle torture and all that, I have connections, you're wife mainly. If I had of stayed you know I would have been on your,our side,"

Lucius didn't reply to Asha, but she was hell bent on causing him some stress or hurt. With that in mind it made Ashleigh a traitor, he studied her like a muggle, or muggle born which she certainly wasn't.

"And why did you come to the spring, it's a place of purity."

"I could have used the same on you."

She glared daggers at him and whirled around, stalking off to some higher rocks above the water. 

'Lex sighed and glared at Lucius. "Follow her, Sevvy." Severus glared at his cousin, a refusal poised upon his lips. "Just do it. Please?" He scowled and tramped off after the renegade half French woman.

'Lex sighed and sat down heavily on the grass, burying her face in her hands. She was so tired. With Asha and Sevvy at each other's throats, and Lucius stalking around like a caged tiger, this wasn't going to be much of an afterparty.

'Lex didn't look up as Lucius came up beside her. _Should have gone after Asha myself…_ 'Lex thought glumly, _Left Sevvy with this prat_ "Mmmhmmm?" 'Lex mumbled, clearly demanding a reason why he had decided to invade her space..

Asha resolved to ignore the space on the planet that Severus took up, seating herself on the aforementioned higher rocks, seething in general.

Luicus, unaware of the others, stared evenly at 'Lex. "You look very alive to me if I do say so myself. I should take it upon myself for the Dark Lord to kill you right now… but.." He glanced up at where Severus was. "Or should I take upon myself to kill the _traitor _that saved your unworthy carcass?"

"Great observations." 'Lex mumbled sarcastically through her hands, "Although I must assure you, you will be neither killing myself _or_ Severus. Whilst your wand would be turned on one of us, the other wouldn't hesitate to make sure that curse was your last. As for my unworthy carcass, I must admit that right now I'm wishing I was six feet under, purely to get some rest."

Lucius paused. He couldn't quite figure out how to answer that. Which was perfectly fine by 'Lex.

Up on the rocks, Severus was having a failed attempt at conversation, before finally exploding with, "THIS IS HOPELESS!" And staring straight ahead, just like Asha.

Meanwhile, Lucius had resumed talking, as if the sound of his own voice enthralled him.

"You should be dead ..." He commented, pressing it further before looking around at Severus's outburst, which had stirred Asha into speech.

"Look, I've had enough today without you screeching like a banshee. Go elsewhere if you must do." And that Severus did. He slid deftly off the rocks and stalked away, around to the other side of the pool.

'Lex was just beginning to nod off, still sitting up, when Lucius spoke again. 

"Not all Death Eaters will be caught, and the Dark Lord will return.. I beseech you…. Enjoy your time while it lasts."

'Lex laughed softly, "I plan to do that, Lucius. However, upon the Dark Lord's return, I shall not be making such an insolent mistake as I did this time. I attempted to pull of a neutral. I did not understand that in these matters there is only black and white."

"Too late to be changing views…but next time it won't matter, you are damned purely for your name." He lurked away, into a darker area, as Asha watched him. 

"_There are many shades of grey, but Voldemort really is the dark lord." _She repeated to herself.

"Damned for my name?" 'Lex mumbled to herself, "And I suppose _you_ would have me change it, mister Malfoy?"

…."No… I would have you die.." Was the last soft reply from his general direction.

'Lex raised her head from her hands and smirked, "But I have."

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A/N: - You Like? You Better. Now review it.


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